Don’t Mistake Kindness for Weakness

Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.  Kindness is in fact a powerful display of leadership.  It takes a good amount of strength to show kindness towards yourself and others.

In some cultures, environments, or situations kindness is frowned upon.  A lot of people preach of individualism, ‘every man for themself’, or pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.  In these types of environments, it can be difficult to think of others since you are constantly reminded you are on your own and only you can help yourself.  In these cultures there is a lot of peer-pressure that makes helping others feel bad or uncomfortable.

To some extent it is true to work on yourself and improve your skills and abilities.  The chain is only as strong as its weakest link, so each link should focus on become individually strong to aid the rest of the chain.  Focusing solely on yourself ignores that we live in a world filled with people, and as others suffer, eventually, so does everyone.  You may be the strongest link in the chain, but if there is one other link that is brittle and rusty, it will not matter how strong you are.

Showing kindness shows strength.  It shows strength to have time and energy to share with another person.  It shows strength to overcome peer-pressure, fear, or embarrassment to help another person.  It shows strength to know and do what is right.

There are three types of kindness with leadership: 1) kindness to oneself, 2) kindness to others, 3) highlighting the kindness in another.

Be kind to yourself.  Don’t be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes.  Learn from your mistakes, but don’t beat yourself up.  Take a deep breath, take a minute to relax, but then get back out there.  When you accomplish a goal, celebrate, at a minimum take a few moments to reflect on the accomplishment and appreciate the journey.  Practicing kindness towards yourself is important for your health and also for being prepared for the next two types of kindness.

Be kind to others.  Be available when someone needs your help, and be an ear when someone needs to share.  Being kind to others is what most people think about when they think about kindness.  As mentioned above, being kind to yourself allows you to practice kindness so that when the opportunity arises, to be kind to others, you are ready.

Highlight the kindness shown by others.  As a leader you need to shine the spotlight on others, specifically those on your team.  Do you want a culture of kindness on your team?  If so, highlight the kindness in others.  Get to know your team, then show them your appreciation when you see an act of kindness.  Some folks like to be thanked in public, while others prefer privacy, either way, do not miss an opportunity to reenforce kindness in your team’s culture.

That is a lot of kindness.  Can you see how being kind shows strength?  All that practice, all that focus, and all that effort goes into being kind and showing kindness as a leader.  It takes strength to be kind over and over again.  It takes strength to overcome peer-pressure.  It takes strength to be a leader.