Working with People or Around Them?

How going it alone is hurting you

A lot of leaders and managers surprisingly go it alone, but that actually hurts more than it helps.

Because leaders don’t have the training or experience, they fall back on what they know: if it’s got to be done right, they’ve got to do it themselves. They try to work with people but those folks are ‘never on time’, ‘do horrible work’, or ‘don’t know what they’re doing’. After a while, they may even start to dislike the person and avoid them so they don’t have to deal with them. You are hurting yourself, and you are ruining your career.

Leadership and management is all about the team and the people. Learn how to work with people, and you will open yourself (and the team) up to new and amazing opportunities.

Here are 5 reasons why going it alone is hurting you and what to do about it.

Missed Opportunities:

People like to share. But, when you’re on your own, no one is sharing with you.

What are you missing out on? Job opportunities, promotions, positions in startups, referrals, and a whole lot more. Working with people will help them get to know you and your skills. When they hear of other opportunities, they are more likely to mention them to you.

Plus, if you’re in a leadership or management role, and you aren’t leading or managing, no one is going to offer new leadership or management opportunities. If you’re not working with people you are not a leader, and you’ll fall right back to being and individual contributor.

“The best way to confront your fears it to stop avoiding the situation you’re most afraid of.” — David D. Burns

Burning Bridges:

We tend to work around people we don’t like, avoiding them at all costs.

But, when we avoid people we give them full control over the narrative - the stories they tell about you to other people. If you’re avoiding that person because of something negative, the stories will most likely be negative too. Practice working with people you don’t like and take control of the narrative. Negative turns to positive because you can correct them, show actions to the contrary, and build a better relationship. You never know what this person might say behind your back, but you can work to make it more positive.

Avoid too many people and others will notice. They will wonder if all these people are actually avoiding you, not the other way around. They’ll ask themselves why people don’t want to work with you. If you can’t be around people and you can’t get along, no one will be there to advocate for you. You’ll inadvertently close off relationships with people you don’t mean to nor want to.

Are You Really Solving the Problem:

Avoid people and you avoid input.

All great problem solvers know that good inputs lead to good solutions. When you’re going it alone, you miss out on different viewpoints and observations. The solution you go with is missing out on a whole world of knowledge, experience, and insight. Work with people to obtain more and better inputs so that you can really solve the problem.

Building Up Burnout:

The weight of the world is on your shoulders, and it’s pretty heavy.

Taking on more and more tasks, just means you have more and more work. Good leaders and managers know how to delegate. In fact, they move away from the tasks and on to delegation and organization. By doing so, you extinguish burnout.

You may be working around people because you don’t trust them or they suck at the work. Build your trust in them by clarifying your expectations and verifying their work. Learn how to teach and instruct so they suck less.

Work with people, rather then around them. Your friends and family will thank me later.

“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.” - Benjamin Franklin

Hiding Incompetencies:

The more people you have around you, the more opportunity you have to improve.

Sure having eyes all around watching your every move can be scary, but it can also be a great advantage. Ask and listen to their feedback and criticism. Where did you mess up, what do you keep forgetting, and what frustrations do people keep bringing up? Use these to up-skill. Is there a video you can watch, book to read, or a discussion topic with your mentor?

We all have skills we can improve. Working with the folks around you helps to highlight them. Avoiding people and your in the dark.

Improving your skills improves your opportunities and working on your skills catches the attention of decision makers.

Working with people is helping you

It can be really easy to work around people rather then work with them. In the moment, it can relieve frustration, anxiety, and concerns. But in the long run, you’re only hurting yourself and your career.

Take a moment to audit yourself. Who are you avoiding? Someone on your team, a co-worker, or a whole department of people?

Start rebuilding those relationships.

It can be surprising how many leaders and managers avoid people. But we‘re human, and it’s a very human response when things get tough. You be tougher and work with people rather then around them.