Emotional Intelligence

To help remember the four categories of cognitive readiness, we use ACES. This is not only a good way to remember but a good way to understand as one category feeds into the next particularly well, in this order. The E and third category is Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, EQ, comprises of four abilities: to perceive and appraise emotions accurately; to access and evoke emotions when they facilitate cognition; to comprehend emotional language and make use of emotional information; and to regulate one’s own and others’ emotions to promote growth and well-being.

That’s a nice definition, but emotional intelligence is probably the most difficult cognitive readiness category of the bunch. On one hand, our society doesn’t talk about or focus on emotion all that much, so throughout childhood, we miss out on learning and knowledge within emotional intelligence. On the other hand, emotions are uncomfortable for most people, a little has to do with the previous statement, while a little more has to do with peer pressure and self esteem. Emotions are perceived as weak, they’re used to bully, and are deemed as obstacles to problem solving.

I’ll agree with the last statement - emotions are obstacles to problem solving - because if we can understand and be at one with emotions, we can solve a whole bunch of problems really amazingly.

With that said, let’s build that understanding and improve emotional intelligence.

Perceived Emotion:

First and foremost, we need to recognize emotions.

People tend to read others' emotions more accurately when they listen and don't look, according to research published by the American Psychological Association. So brush up on your active listening.

Practice. Practice looking at pictures of people in emotional states, practice listening to audio of the same, and put the two together with video samples. Test yourself. Definitely, do not wait around for these things to occur in your life or at work. Actively practice.

Be mindful of your own emotions and feelings. All the feels - the ones you like and the ones you don’t. Reference this Attentional Focus article for more tips. You should always take time throughout your day to reflect on events, discussions, and meetings; add your emotional states to this reflection time to help build perceived emotion skills.

Did you know: People with high EQ make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQ. [8]

Self Awareness:

Allow your self to be the center of attention.

Self awareness is your ability to understand what makes you you including your personality, values, beliefs, emotions, actions, and thoughts.

It empowers us to influence our own outcomes, helps us become better decision makers, and gives us more confidence. We improve communication with clarity and intention. Self awareness allows us to understand things from multiple perspectives and frees us from assumptions and biases.

Reflect on what triggers you emotionally and how, specifically, do you react to those triggering events. Label your emotions with detail and specifics. Understand that emotions are neither good nor bad, contrary to popular belief, they’re just a state of being. They’re a communication device from your mind and body, so learn how to translate to improve the next subcategory - self regulation.

Self Regulation:

Don’t let your emotions control you.

Self regulation is the ability to understand and manage your behavior and reactions to emotions. This is what impresses most people - staying cool, calm, and collected when under pressure. Notice without perceived emotion and self awareness, you’ll struggle with self regulation.

Practice controlling yourself in all situations and ask for feedback from loved ones and friends on how well you did. When first starting out, some people like to exaggerate their control practice to get the hang of it, but over time, self regulation can become just as cool and clam as you’ll become.

Self regulation is a pivotal, life-altering skill.

Empathy:

Show compassion.

Cognitive empathy is recognizing the emotions of others without necessarily feeling the emotions themselves. The definition speaks for itself but focus on the separation of recognizing the emotions while staying calm and collected.

People, smarter than me, like to equate cognitive empathy with compassion - having compassion for what the other person is going through. I like to say this is the act of patience - having patience to allow the other person to get through stuff, vent, or take some time for themselves.

For more on empathy check out this article: You’re doing empathy wrong

In a study of more than 2,000 managers, 81% of the competencies that distinguished outstanding managers were related to emotional intelligence. [8]

Moving forward:

The most effective way to enhance your EQ is to engage in regular habits that strengthen the communication between the rational mind and the emotional mind.

Decades of research now points to emotional intelligence as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. Emotional intelligence accounts for nearly 90% of what moves people up the ladder when IQ and technical skills are roughly similar. [8]

Transforming your Leadership:

As mentioned, Cognitive Readiness is a set of distinct categories which are highly intertwined.

The category of emotional intelligence is probably the toughest to grasp for most people, but use the skills from the previous two categories (Attentional Focus and Cognitive Intelligence) to build your EQ with ease.

That’s a wrap for category three, but make sure you’re subscribed and following along as we still have one more category to discuss on cognitive readiness. Get ready for the final category - social intelligence.