How To Improve Your 1-on-1 Meetings

Instead of just scheduling some time and randomly filling the silence, let’s learn how to get the most out of your 1-on-1 meetings.

One-on-one meetings are vital to building a leadership relationship with your team members. There’s not one great leader that doesn’t understand the importance of a strong relationship with each individual. These strong relationships build trust between folks, turns delegation into volunteerism, and helps everyone buy into the vision of the team. In other words, these relationships make leading easy.

Unfortunately, lots of so called leaders run their 1-on-1s poorly.

Most of these so-called-leaders haven’t even thought about how to run their meetings.

•  Some run them as a project update meeting
•  Others just randomly make up an agenda of things they think they should talk about
•  Maybe you run yours like your boss does or from another previous experience
•  Still others just talk about whatever the hot topics of the day are

Together, let’s improve your 1:1s with topics you should be talking about, topics that managers need to address, and results that team members want to get out of this meeting.

Here's how, step by step:

Step 1: Actually meet

This is not a random meeting, this is a scheduled activity.

Since we are going to improve these meetings, this step will become a lot easier going forward. Poorly run 1-on-1s lead a lot of leaders and team members to treat this meeting lackadaisically: rescheduling, pushing it out, or asking if you really need to meet today. Why? Because no one was getting anything out of it.

Set and hold your schedule so that you can build those relationships, mentioned earlier. A predictable schedule reduces anxiety and build reassurance that your team member will be able to get their questions and concerns addressed.

Action

Don’t know where to start? For a new employee to the team or someone early in their career, try weekly. For those with a bit more experience in both their careers and with the team, try every two weeks. Don’t make it any less frequent then every two weeks.

Label these meetings important: add a priority marking with your calendar app or color code them. Make them stand out as fixed and non-reschedulable.

Weekly meetings help employees feel more successful, on average - 12% more.

Step 2: Work with each, individual person on their specific agenda

This is not a one-size-fits-all meeting. It’s a tailored meeting for each team member.

Each person is different and in turn each relationship is different, so each 1:1 is different. Restart by working with each individual on what they want to get out of their 1-on-1s. And yes, you should be framing it as THEIR 1-on-1. As you go through this discussion, offer what you think you need to share with them during this time to get their approval and agreement. At the end, you will have topics they want to address and topics you want to.

Topics may range from training on specific skills, purely building a personal relationship with you, or career development and ways they can stay and advance within the company.

Next make sure you have the time to address all the topics, including time for others that may pop up from week to week. Give yourself some flexibility.

Research shows that managers and individual contributors (IC) are not always aligned, so don’t make any assumptions. For example, IC’s want to know about what’s going on with the team and company, while managers might not see it as that important. On the flip side, managers might be spending too much time on the IC’s personal life or individual accomplishments when the IC isn’t all that concerned.

Action

Before your next 1-on-1, send out a meeting agenda email letting your team members know you want to adjust one-on-ones. Send them a brief explanation of this step and two or three examples. Send this email at least 24 hours prior to their next 1-on-1 so that they can prepare and have time to think. Don’t surprise them with this in the meeting - it will flop and turn into another meeting.

Step 3: Mentor and guide

Process and task oriented questions and discussion come across as micromanaging.

As topics arise and are addressed, shape your comments and questions toward them and their thinking. Focus on the goals of the topics not the ways in which they will accomplish them. You are there to help them navigate toward these goals. You are there to remove barriers and add speed ramps. Allow them to fulfill their goals as they deem fit.

Only if they don’t know or don’t have the confidence to form a plan of action do you step in and offer procedural suggestions, and even in this case, structure it in more of a brainstorming format than a do-it-this-way format.

Action

Practice. Use Mind Runs to practice adjusting your words and delivery. A lot of people are very good at discussing process and tasks, that’s just what we’re used to, so in the heat of the conversation, they default to this without even thinking about it. Replace this ‘muscle memory’ with the new ‘shaping your comments and questions toward their thinking muscle memory’. Practice your Mind Runs before hand, often, and after each conversation to get better at mentoring and guiding.

Step 4: Remember to follow up

Nothing builds trust faster then your memory.

You will have action items from this meeting. Make sure you complete your tasks timely and effectively. Your teammate will remember what you promised to do, and if you don’t, trust will be broken and very difficult to repair.

Keep up with their progress as well. Everyone appreciates being remembered. But, it also helps them to keep pushing through the tough spots. When they know someone is watching, there’s a small thought of letting that someone down. This can be a huge driver when the going gets tough.

Take good notes. Sure everyone thinks of that, but review those notes. Review them right after your meeting to make sure you recorded everything and in an understandable way. Review them prior to your next meeting so you are ready to go.

Action

Want an easy way to boost your memory skills, check out our free 5 Steps to Your First Memory System.

Now, go do it

Carve out 15 minutes, right now, to implement these adjustments.

•  Double check your calendar to make sure you have everything scheduled and prioritized
•  Jot out your next meeting agenda to gather and formulate specific topics for each individual, from Step 2
•  Practice focusing your comments and communication on goals rather then processes
•  Set a habit of reviewing and remembering each meeting’s notes

Last thoughts

Please don’t default to running your meetings like your old boss. Just because the people who have came before you have done it that way, doesn’t mean they’re doing it right.

Improve your 1:1 time with these 4 simple steps.

Your time is precious, your team member’s time is precious, so use it in the best way possible. Move from a meeting that feels useless and painful to one that drives performance and engages your team.

Source: [39] Jessica Wisdom, Ph.D., MIT Sloan Management Review, accessed May 16, 2023, < https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/five-ways-to-make-your-one-on-one-meetings-more-effective/>