Empathy, what is it really?

Defining empathy can be confusing. How many different definitions of empathy have you heard or seen? ‘Putting yourself in another person’s shoes’ is one you might have heard a lot. I have, but can you really put yourself in another person’s situation?

Ultimately, what does that actually mean? Tie it together with all the other definitions, and empathy has become pretty confusing.

Empathy doesn’t have to be confusing and difficult to decipher. We don’t have to work so hard to understand that other person, and we definitely don’t have to do the impossible and put their shoes on. Could we ever really, truly understand where they are coming from?

Empathy is a deep, detailed, complex idea and topic, but that is a good thing. This means that there is hope for it being a good solution to our interpersonal problems. It’s depth and detail means it takes time and learning to really apply it, though.

What if there was a better way to understand empathy, a simple jumping off point to using empathy?

Well, I think there is. I believe a better definition of empathy is the “Act of Patience.”

Are you able to be patient when listening to someone complain? When a boss is yelling at you? When your partner lets you down? When a co-worker is laying out all their excuses? If so, isn’t that showing empathy for that other person? Aren’t you having empathy for what the person might be going through at that moment?

Start being patient right now. Begin accepting the current circumstances as they are. Conscientiously slow yourself down in your thoughts. Build a tolerance for feeling uncomfortable.

The most amazing results will be those we can’t even imagine yet, like: resolving conflicts quickly and easily, lowering overall stress levels, and building better relationships with everyone in your life.